Shocking Fat Burning Foods You Never Realised
Posted on October 27th, 2011 by admin
You thought that you knew which fat burning foods really help you burn fat, and which foods are too fatty to even consume. However, these misconceptions are so.
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what do you think of my story so far? subject: anorexia, self-harm..?
Preface
There’s a demon inside me named Ana and she puts thoughts in my head. She tells me to cut myself, burn myself, starve myself. When I look in the mirror she snickers at me and ridicules me. The only thing that calms her down is to hurt myself. Sometimes the only thing that shuts her up is to shovel pills down my throat until I can’t tell what’s going on and I pass out. She doesn’t allow me to get much sleep. She doesn’t allow me to nurish my body with food. She wants to escape, but I won’t let her. If she escapes, she will control my outside world. Right now the only thing she can control is me. So I’m letting her destroy me. I fear that she’s getting stronger, though. Is there only a matter of time until she escapes and hurts the ones I love?
Chapter One
I was tired. I’d only gotten four hours of sleep the previous night. I groaned as I woke, realizing that I had to face another day. Memories of the previous night ripped through my mind and shattered my brain. Pills. A razor blade. Blood. Alcohol? I rubbed my head as I felt a pounding headache coming on, and determined that there was definitely alcohol involved. I turned my head, trying to ignore the shot of pain that radiated through my head and neck, and glanced at the clock on my nightstand. Seven thirty-eight. Why was sleep such a difficult thing for me?
‘You’re awake.’
I shuddered. She was back.
‘I never left.’
I groaned again. I reached over without looking and grabbed whatever pill bottle my hand landed on. I dumped a handful of white capsules into my hand and shoved them into my mouth, swallowing hard. I burrowed under the covers and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to die, or at the very least fall asleep.
Ana snickered loudly in my head. It hurt my ears, it bounced off the walls of my brain and echoed into my eardrums. This was the sound of pure hatred. Ana hated me, and she tormented me until she won.
"Shut up!" I screamed out loud.
The snickering got louder.
I shoved myself out of bed. I grabbed the knife from my dresser and dug it deep into my arm. Blood slowly started seeping out from the gash. It spilled down my arm and began dripping to the floor.
"Is this what you want?!" I screamed. Tears welled up in my eyes.
Now all I heard was a faint giggle that I easily tuned out. I stalked back to my bed, nestled under the covers, and somehow managed to fall asleep.
When I woke again, I could see through the blinds on my window that it was beginning to get dark outside. I was surprised at how long I was able to sleep. My body felt stiff, but not as bad as earlier this morning.
My bedside clock showed that it was five twenty-five in the evening. I concluded that it must have been sleeping pills that I’d taken earlier to shut up–
‘Isabella, darling, don’t get ahead of yourself.’
A jolt that felt like an electric shock shot through my body. A small gasp escaped my lips, and I had to catch myself before rolling on the floor. I took a deep breath. I decided maybe a shower would clear my head a little.
As I walked into the bathroom, I caught sight of myself in the full-length mirror.
The snickering began.
‘You shouldn’t eat today. You’re getting fat.’
I couldn’t argue.
‘You won’t be pretty until you can see all the bones jabbing out.’
Again, I couldn’t argue.
I examined the gash on my arm from this morning. It was now a dark burgundy color, crusting over. Dried blood was still on my arm, some on my shirt. I was sure I’d have blood on my blankets too.
I looked back at the mirror and saw an ugly, fat, disgusting girl.
‘Purge. It will get rid of some of that flab.’
And so I did. I bent over the toilet, sticking my finger down my throat. I vomited, but barely anything came up since it’d been at least 24 hours since I’d last eaten. I heaved until Ana felt I’d done enough.
The shower did little to help clear my head. I made sure to ignore the mirror this time as I passed it and went back to my room.
My mind was racing with thoughts, most of them incoherent and not actual thoughts, just vibes. Anxiety colored most of it, worry slithered aimlessly around my brain and I could feel an edge of paranoia, bordering on hysteria. But I had no energy. I decided to skip getting dressed and facing the day, or night rather, and I crawled back into bed.
That’s when the thoughts came.
‘Burn yourself. You deserve it.’
I squeezed my eyes shut, pressed my fingers against my temples and hummed tunelessly to myself.
‘You could use another couple gashes on those stubby arms.’
I groaned. I knew if I tried to ignore her, she would keep on feeding me these thoughts until I obeyed her. Might as well get it over with.
Chapter 2
‘Isabella.’
The sound of my demon’s harsh, disturbing voice jolted me awake. How had I fallen asleep? What time was it? What did I do this time?
‘Nothing of consequence.’
Ana’s voice was heavy with sarcasm. The memories came flooding back to me all at once, as they normally did.
Pills. Fire. Tears. Blood. More
Wow, that is amazing.
I’m editor for my friends story, and i seriously don’t think it needs much editing. I was horrified with all the things Isabella did to herself, but you had me sucked into it. However, i was thinking along the way, does Isabella have parents? Where does she live? How old is she? And i thought chapter two was a little repetetive, but i haven’t seen the rest of it, so i can’t judge…The story made me think of it as a example of what teens can suffer from nowadays…bulumia, anxiety, self-harm, emotional pain etc…because i think of Ana, as the society, throwing a million messages out to people saying things like, magazines: articles on How to be skinny, pictures of models and celebritys and peers: saying that you aren’t pretty enough, you’re not cool, you’re pathetic and that you can’t be accepted as one of the ‘it’ people.
Good job!, good luck with the rest!
i’ll favourite this page so i can refer to it…how about e-mailing me when you complete more?
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wow… just wow. this is story is just so amazingly well written. it makes you want to keep reading it. seriously.. your a fantastic writer. keep going!!
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WOW!! amazing I read it twice & I want to read more please keep writing you have a gift it’s poignant honest & emotional Congratulation Slainte (cheers & health) to you
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This is amazing, it’s so good! Great job!!
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it’s really good!! i didn’t want it to end haha! bravo! and i’m sure the others would agree i would love to see the finished product!!!
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